$100 payment for my student loan posted and a letter confirming the payment agreement came in the mail this week plus a final letter from my expensive cell phone company came in so it’s on a few more days I am I officially current on all my bills.

I’ve drifted from keeping my budget. October was just emotionally draining on the family side where I felt a little run down even got the weird funky cold to prove it. I just want to get back to mastering the basics. I had a moment wondering if what I am doing is it important. I sometimes feel like I am not significant because all I do is wake up and take care of all my needs but I am single and no kids so what else am I suppose to do.

Therapy broke it down for me where I discovered the route of all my negative thinking patterns is modelled from my family. The more I work on myself, overcome my trauma and learn to set healthy boundaries every once in a while my family will challenge my boundaries and confuse me where I end up conflicting my new practicing positive thought patterns. It’s extremely exhausting.

The only way I will have a chance of being emotional free and financially free from my family is to break away from them and they will think I am being selfish. I can’t keep making myself feel hopeless so my family can manipulate me it will ruin everything I’ve been working on in therapy.

So rolling in November. I just need to wake up and focus on which part of the 7 baby steps do I need to accomplish it makes things easy on me knowing I have this checklist to follow and boundaries to keep.