Saturday, July 14 and Sunday

Holy temptations! So the ridiculous high-interest payday loan has called me yet again trying to offer me a loan increase. They have called me 3 times in less than 2 weeks. I told them my monthly payment is at my max according to my budget. But this company thrives on keeping customers in payments.

Yes with my business I do need start-up money to get things going so I can increase my income, but with my health, in recent activity with nerve pain, numbness and emotional stuff happening in therapy I am just working my financial plan.

I am going to stay the course, keep giving the installment loan their minimum payment plus more. I am not going to take on more debt, I see debt as a financial tool and right now I do not have enough resources to add on more. To be honest, having this company call me to congratulate me on keeping a good payment history is doing something with my confidence around managing money.

Money has energy and treating the installment loan with tender loving care I am being asked to have more money. Which is great but I have to keep the focus on the plan. I have things I need to work through financially. I honestly do not see having debt as a bad thing especially if it can move me forward in the direction of making money, but I know I have reached my limit of too much debt at this moment.

Wednesday

I was able to watch a new docu-series on money called “Money Revealed” . watching it validated what I want to do with money and where I need to learn more.

Growing up I was semi-punished for my excitement and joy for money by my family. Well, I am an adult now and my family they honestly suck, Yes I know they are trained with a different mindset about money and they are stuck in their own beliefs around lifestyle, and money. but as early as I can remember I never saw money as anything horrible. I saw it as creativity and options.

Good thing me leaving home at 18 I was able to learn what I wanted to know about money and I’ve kept the curiosity and spirit alive. Yes, I made money mistakes but that is how you learn and it becomes a valuable lesson especially if you don’t go back and repeat the same mistake otherwise it’s just a lifestyle choice.

My progress from last year to now has me excited. My credit score is my indication of how well I am doing managing debt and it needs improvement. My saving and investment accounts plus my active income are other indications of how I am managing money and yes that needs improvement too.

But I am focused and intentional plus therapy was being annoying, going in for my sessions and I kept bringing up the same things. You can only process so many things from your past, eventually, you have to move forward otherwise its just self inflicted insanity. With therapy, I am working through the decision of cutting off my family I use to have limited communication with them but that isn’t going well and I need to focus on building my life as a woman of independent means with abundant wealth and riches.

My family does want me to be successful but the way they express it comes out emotionally abusive or diminishing. They do believe in having a successful status and the track record of them around the age I am now they literally all became selfish and went on a mission to work more to buy a house because that was their primary focus over emotionally supporting me and my younger sister.

Thursday

This financial intelligence journey and asking myself the question “What’s important about money to you?” has opened some emotional wounds that were past down to me by my family and honestly only maybe one of my uncles has figured out how to build wealth and educate his sons about it. Knowing that growing up kept me opened to knowing there is a different way to handle money.

My week will end with me working my self-employment job as a cam model and enjoying my time with a pretty special person I spend romantic moments with.

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